The holidays are close.
This is the time when we should forget about work and try to be joyful.
Actually we should always be joyful.
So let's list here some "Magento Facts".
The facts can be about Magento, about the users, about the community members and about anything you can relate to Magento.
The holidays are close.
Marius Strajeru Facts
- "Mage" is short for "MArius Groks Everything"
- Magento was created to keep Marius from taking over the world
- Marius can invalidate any cache just by thinking about it
- Marius never sleeps - he just has periods of deep thinking about Magento SE questions
Mage::dispatchEvent()first checks with Marius to see if it's actually okay to dispatch the event
- Marius speaks Romanian but thinks in XML
Phil "Winkle" Jackson Facts
- Due to its height, the Earth's rotation, and the General Theory of Relativity, Phil's hair ages more slowly than anything else in the Magento ecosystem
- Phil edits MageTalk episodes in his sleep. Except for episode 13.
- Phil can cook a gourmet dinner and create a module at the same time
Kalen Jordan Facts
- Kalen is the only human being alive to not actually require any computer or computer equipment in order to create a module at a hackathon.
- Kalen just straight up does not sleep. Except once, when he was two days old.
- Kalen is part octopus. Four of his appendages move so quickly that they cannot be seen, and these are how the fifteen things he's working on right now that you don't know about are being built.
I'll start with a few Ben Marks Facts that got around on twitter.
Ben Marks Facts:
- Ben Marks can be at 2 conferences at the same time with 2 different presentation.
- If you are at a conference and Ben Marks isn't there, that's not a conference.
- Ben Marks does not attend conferences. Conferences attend Ben Marks (by Fabian Schmengler)
- Ben Marks is a state of mind. (By Kalen Jordan)
- Some say Ben Marks still conferencing to this day... (by Phillip Jackson)
- There are no Magento conferences, just places Ben Marks likes to visits. (by Tanel Raja)
- There are no new Magento versions, just moments when Ben Marks says: "Ah, fcuk it, I'll just change core an be done with it". (by Tanel Raja)
And Magento Facts
- Magento's learning curve is not steep. You are not sitting straight.
- You don't use Magento. Magento uses you.
Philwinkles Hair Facts
- Philwinkle exists just because Philwinke's Hair needed a body.
- Phiwinkle's performance bonuses consist of hair products.
- Philwinkle and Philwinkle's Hair pronounce the same words differently. And both of them pronounce them right.
- Unless you have a very cool beard, you're not a cool Magento developer. Or female. (Prove it here)
The product creation flow is so friendly, there is a module to tell you why your product is not showing up https://github.com/quafzi/Magento-Productvisibility
Every country pronounces Magento in a different way
Internal wiki has nearly 300 pages with text Magneto, internal Jira 320+ issues with Magneto
I-MAGE-IN was a proposed name for Imagine
Magento LA HQ conference rooms are named after LA food trucks (Coolhouse, Cupcakes a GoGo, Fishlips, No Tomatoes etc)
Alan Kent's emails are like his blog posts (https://alankent.wordpress.com/). I print them as they don't fit on my screen.
- No one ever have done a successful frontend module in first time.
- No one ever have done a successful admin module in first time.
- Magento has multiple personality. Some time it is "friendly", some time it is "bad"ly. Sometime it is a nightmare :-)
- @mageOverflow questions looks like a sphere and it's centre of point is @Marius.
- @mageOverflow lost its privilege to do a close vote. @Marius #theGreatModerator will close it before the neuron which emerge from our brain reaches our hand with an instruction "close it".
- Dont love #magento too much. Because all other things in the world become #absolutelyNothing then.
- Once you go deeper into magento, you will feel like a #blackhole or like "Alice in wonderland".
- No one can understand Magento fully. Even the developers who made it.
- Magento has brain. It will think sometime.
- There is no #warmHole (shortcuts) in order to reach Magento (#blackhole). You need to follow the #hardway (module development). But once you reach there and enter into it, there would be no return (Inspired from #interstellar)
- Without @alanstorm's blog, no one will understand #magento.
a Magento haiku (my first one):
Did you flush the cache?
Flush the cache, flush it again!
Is it working now?
- Magento simply allows eBay to think that it owns Magento
- Whether it comes down to caching mechanisms, complex core architecture or even when you try to do the most trivial thing such as implement jQuery next to prototype — Magento will ALWAYS have the last laugh.
- When Magento isn't busy being one of the most incredible open-source all-in-one e-commerce solutions, it inhabits the body of Chuck Norris.
- Magento likes to play games, it's favorite of which is
hide and seekcaching.
- Magento is strictly pro team-potato.
- First rule of Magento Club is you do not touch core.
- Second rule you DO NOT touch core!
- Third rule when in doubt, flush/disable all caches and rebuild indexes.
- Fourth rule do not just copy/pasta entire design packages.
- Fifth rule keep your namespaces and rewrites clean, use observers if possible.
- Sixth rule always be attentive to performance-critical code, avoid useless computations inside loops.
- Seventh rule development will go on for as long as it has to, try to learn and understand the features of the framework, and use them correctly.
- Eighth rule if this your first time modifying Magento, you have to forget everything else.
From The Magento Space Monkeys, brought to you by Project Magehem
Stuff I (and probably a lot of others too) have wasted way to much debugging time on
- Not looking in the
Designsettings when layout is loaded incorrectly
- FPC cache that's still active after turning it off
- Stuff overwritten on a website / store level in
Sys Confand forgetting to check for that
- Values not being stored in a custom DB table after adding an upgrade sql script because you didn't flush Magento cache 5 times or more even though cache is turned off
- Someone hard coding the base URL making the switch to HTTPS a nightmare